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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Internet

your friendly neighborhood alien

The Roswell Incident – the only alien in Area 51

Last week I stumbled across an interesting human. He was very euphoric and had told me that there is a huge cover up of alien activity in Area 51 (Southern Nevada, USA). His smell and outfit confirmed me that this man has been on weeks of researching this topic without time for hygiene. He convinced me that I had to visit Area 51 to find alien life forms and leftover spaceship parts of a major crash. This wouldn’t surprise me as for example the Hubbletonians are known for their ship crafting in need of great improvement and so crappy that you sometimes can’t even leave the atmosphere without someone pushing you.

I immediately knew that if I ever wanted to get back home to Maximegalon I would have to go there and check whether the military might be hiding some important ship parts that I could use to build a spaceship myself or whether the military station was a dorm for stranded aliens such as me.

Continue reading “The Roswell Incident – the only alien in Area 51”

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The Hangover – waking up on a strange planet …. again

Hello earthlings!

Some of you have requested it – here it is: How did I get stranded on earth?

Okay, think back to the last time you were drunk? Got it? Good! Did you ever wake up somewhere else not knowing how you got there? The clumsy feeling in the morning? The tired eyes trying to find a familiar pattern in the blurry world around you? The strange noises and smells around you?

That’s exactly what happened to me!

Continue reading “The Hangover – waking up on a strange planet …. again”

This is the start of something BIG

Hello earthlings,

haven’t heard from me in a while?

Don’t panic – I’ve been very busy writing and constructing and building and planning and researching ….

And I am proud to tell you that something big is heading your way Continue reading “This is the start of something BIG”

First alien on Facebook

The hitchhiker goes Facebook!
I just opened up a new chapter in this Facebook literature that my neighbor told me about.

Very interest read – although a bit too many pictures for my taste. 

And to top this news: YOU GUYS GET TO CHOOSE A NAME FOR THE NEW WEEKLY FEATURE where I tell you guys about Maximegalon and hitchhiking and my life on earth:
http://www.facebook.com/joulesnightmare/

Image: 55his.com

The story of an alien stranded on earth 

In my last blog post I asked you guys to ask me questions because I know how much humans love asking questions.

And many questions were dealing with my home planet and how I see the world and its inhabitants.

Today I want to tell you something about my home planet. And if you guys like it I will simply make a series out of it and tell you more about my hitchhiking, how I stranded here and what I learned on earth. Just leave me some feedback to know if you would like to read more about my story.
But first of all I want to tell you guys about my home planet:

MAXIMEGALON  Continue reading “The story of an alien stranded on earth “

I always wondered: How would an alien react to …?

Hello earthlings!
I’ve come in peace to investigate your planet and eat all your cookies – don’t worry, I’m not interested in oil!

And by the way – I’ve received one of your Voyager Golden Records back home on Maximegalon. It was a very simplistic means of communication with extraterrestrial lifeforms but hey I enjoyed the music you compiled on it. Interesting which things you put on this mixtape that was supposed to represent human mankind.

Since I’ve arrived and lived on this planet unnoticed I haven’t had any formal welcome ceremony with this planet’s leaders – but it’s okay, I’m not angry about that. Continue reading “I always wondered: How would an alien react to …?”

Bad Fanfictions – The Peak of Human Art

As a writer I feel free to say that I enjoy nothing more than a good read. And surely, “a good read” can be defined differently according to differences in taste.

But never ever while traveling this galaxy did I find a planet’s art more fascinating than the one of human culture.

And might I add – bad fanfictions are the peak of art throughout this galaxy! Continue reading “Bad Fanfictions – The Peak of Human Art”

5 things I love about humans

It’s always hard to love yourself. Don’t worry, it’s not a typical human thing to think of oneself as unworthy and ugly and stupid – this is a very common phenomenon in our universe.

And even though you might look at an alien and realize “Damn, these aliens are far ahead of us” there is no reason to think of yourself as being worse.

No! In fact, I have travelled a large part of the universe and I can honestly say: humans are awesome!

You don’t believe me? Check these five things I love about humans to see your own existence through a stranger’s eyes! Continue reading “5 things I love about humans”

First ever alien to receive the Liebster Award

“I want to thank my manager, my parents and most of all God!”
Just joking! I just heard these sentences so many times when I watched the Emmy awards on television. Humans repeat it all over again so my acceptance speech to Jessica C.s Liebster Award nomination will be very different.
First of all, this is my trophy: Continue reading “First ever alien to receive the Liebster Award”

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